The Two’s: Ya Can’t Win Em All

2 year olds are a strange people. There’s just no denying that fact. I could go into all the ways this is true, but we’d be here all day, and you most likely already know anyway. I just want to hit some of the highlights from a small window of our day the other day, which lead to an early bedtime. (I have to clarify early for us means 9:15…. we’re not a normal household when it comes to sleep schedules, but it works for us.)

This day was not that far out of the norm, but it had a few extra sprinkles of toddler spirit so I thought I’d share.

We had a doctor’s appointment for the little guy and before we ever left, we had to do the godforsaken shoe dance of changing shoes 28 times, asking for a certain pair then throwing a fit when those get put on our feet, melting down into a puddle, etc.

This was from a different day but it happens every day!

We finally get rolling and of course, even though it’s literally only 7 minutes away, the boys fell asleep about 4 minutes in. This is never good! They have an uncanny ability to fall asleep 1-15 minutes before we arrive at our destination leaving me no pleasant options once we get there. Moments like these, I seriously contemplate the possibility of leaving the van running and just letting them sleep while I bring Luke in for the appointment, or do whatever the thing was we set out to do. The fact that I’d go to jail and lose custody of my children reminds me I just have to wake them up and endure the toddler wrath; but I’m not too proud to admit the thought enters my brain and I wish it was a possibility.

So I took a few deep breaths, warriored up and sweetly awakened my sleeping punkins. I didn’t give them time to argue and just swiftly transferred them from their car seats to the stroller. The transition went much smoother than it could have and they actually did well considering they’d only had a 3 minute nap. Hurtle number 1: jumped.

After sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes and allowing them to get out of the stroller to explore and read some magazines, they called us back. I called the round-up and headed back with my entourage of children and luggage.

Once we got in the room, the 2 year oldness made its appearance. While getting Luke’s vitals and standard beginning of an appointment stuff, the boys decided neither one could live without sitting in their own chair. I was in one holding Luke and Connor was in the other. This left Ethan with a homeless hiney and he was not happy about it. After his attempt at ordering me to move so he could sit in mine fell flat on the floor, he tried to push his way into Connor’s chair. His little frustrated toddler claws came out and like a baby bear cub he started scratching and shoving at Connor, whining for him to move while Connor screamed, “Stop it brother!!!” I informed them that their options were to take turns, share or sit in time out. After a quick countdown, Ethan chose time out. Talking to a nurse and trying to focus on her questions and provide appropriate answers did not deter me from sticking to our usual rules and method of handling incessant shenanigans. Hurdle number 2: jumped.

We plowed through that and straight into the next episode. When the nurse practitioner came in, she tried to engage the boys in small talk. They would have none of it. Everything she asked was met with a firm, “No!”
Here’s an example.

Nurse: “Hey there, are you reading a book?” (To a toddler with a book in his hand)
Connor: “NO! I not reading a book!!!”

Nurse: “Oh ok. I see you’ve got a blue mouth and hands. Did you eat something blue today?”
(I explained we did tie dye)
“Oh, you did tie dye? That sounds fun.”
Connor: “No! I no do tie dye.”

Switching gears, she says something about their matching outfits and asks me to confirm that they are twins.
I do, and Connor interjects and says, “NO!!!! I not twins!!” 

You get the point. This continued on until she said something about lollipops. (Thanks for that!)

I told them that if they could behave and keep their listening ears on for the rest of the time, they could get a lollipop. It worked and they were angels the rest of the time. That is, until we got back to the van.

Each boy took 2 lollipops, one for each hand. I loaded every one up and asked Connor which one he wanted. (All 4 lollipops were green). He picks one, I open it, he says, “No, I no want that one. I want this one.” No prob, wrap it back up and give him the other identical green lollipop. Move to Ethan. He picks which one he wants and I took the other one to save for later. He immediately starts screaming like his hair is on fire and throws the lollipop at me.

Oh no he didn’t!!!

I take a breath and calmly say, “Looks like Ethan doesn’t want his lollipop.” He starts screaming and crying, asking me to get it for him and saying, “I want my lollipop now!!!” I now have one happy 2 year old and one screaming banshee. I explained to him that he had chosen to throw his lollipop which meant he did not get one today; and that he could scream all the live long day and I would not be moved.

The car ride home was fun! ☺

He forgot about the lollipop and upon arriving at home we started playing outside. I thought we had moved beyond the tantrums and could enjoy the evening together, but that 3 minute nap proved to not be enough for my precious peanuts and the toddlerness persisted. I’ll spare you every detail but just know there was a lot of 2 year old perks. For example, they wanted to ride their tricycles. They rotated between, “Mommy I need help!” and, “NO! I do it myself!” as soon as they got the help they requested. There was a lot of “put me in,” “take me out.” A lot of shoe changes, several requests to be butt naked, a few fights and wrestling matches, lots of whining, a couple “mommy hold me’s,” a dozen requests for different items, some boo boos, and LOTS of deep breaths. There were sweet moments in between, but I was very much ready for bedtime, and so were they.



We hurried through bath time and our usual night time routine, but then I tried to slow down and enjoy some good final moments of the day. I love our story time and nightly prayer so I wanted to relish that despite the frustrating evening. There were lots of snuggles and cuddles, lots of kisses and “I love you’s,” smiles and hugs. I lifted Ethan into the bed and then went for Connor.

But I lifted him a little too high and bumped his head into the ceiling fan.

O.M.G. C’mon man!!!!!

I turned the light back on and snuggled and smooched him to death feeling like a horrible mother; and then the whining started up again and I knew it was my cue to call it a day. I did another round of final kisses and apologies for the head knocking and quickly exited stage left.

Usually there’s a great lesson or nugget of wisdom I try to throw into my posts. For this one, I’m not sure what else to say other than Ya can’t win Em all folks!
Thank God that His mercies are new every morning! ☺

Here’s a few more pics from the evening just for fun!

Can't even keep his eyes open through dinner.
Eating dinner, but not sure if he's happy about it.
He cried from the time I woke him up in his seat until story time...and then again after the head knocking.
At least someone was happy!

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