As a mom of all boys, one of the most common questions I get is, “Are you going to try for a girl?” At one point, my response was, “I don’t know. I feel like there’s a girl I already love. But we’ll see.”
Before I got pregnant with Luke, I was sure I would have a girl the next time. For the first 20 weeks of his pregnancy, I just knew my world was about to be splashed with pink. When we found out he was a boy, I wasn’t disappointed at all. Just surprised. So then I thought, “Well, either I’m not done and my girl is still up in heaven, or I was wrong and God wanted me to just have all boys. Either way, awesome!”
Unless God has some tricks up his sleeve, it’s pretty clear that I am done with my baby making days at this point, and that’s ok. But I still have always felt that somewhere in the world is a little girl that I have loved since I was a child.
I now know who she is.
In September, I am going to become an aunt!!! My brother and sister-in-law are going to be parents!
Everyone who wants to become a parent gets there in their own way. The journey looks different for us all, but the destination is always the same.
A depth of love so vast there are really no words for it.
Jake and Tracy have both always wanted to be parents. They, like me, have loved their children since they were children themselves. So when the road to parenthood presented unexpected bumps for them, it was devastating – both to them and the people who love them.
It seems unfair that in the world there are so many beautiful, amazing people who want to have children but for whatever reason, are unable to on their own.
Luckily, God has plans bigger and better than our own.
Prior to fertility issues presenting themselves, Tracy had it in her heart to adopt. She and Jake talked about it and decided that this was a path God was leading them toward, regardless of their ability to conceive a biological child. So they began the process of adoption.
I have always believed that God chooses our children specifically for us. The Bible even tells us that’s the truth.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
There is something truly magical about the adoption process and watching the unfolding of God knitting together a family. I firmly believe that whether biological or adopted, our children are meant for us, and we are meant for them.
Watching Jake and Tracy travel this path has been so enlightening and inspiring. It has strengthened my faith and reminded me that God is always in control, and His plans are always perfect.
Right now, their daughter, and my niece, is being knitted together in the most beautiful mother’s womb. Every birth mother who has made the difficult decision to place their baby for adoption has traveled a hard road. The decision they’ve made is one of great strength, courage, bravery and selflessness. Jake and Tracy are being gifted not only a child, but also an amazing woman who is carrying their child. There is of course an instant bond and connection with anyone who has decided to give you the most precious thing in all of the world; but this woman is special.
I have never met her, but I love her. She is beautiful and compassionate and well educated. She loves this baby more than herself, as all mother’s do, and because of that love, she has chosen to place her in the hearts of my brother and sister-in-law. She knew that her situation was not the best one for this little girl, despite her great love, so she has done one of the most difficult things I can imagine and selflessly decided to carry this baby in her womb for someone else.
What an unbelievable honor to bear witness to such a miracle.
I now know that the little girl, whom I have loved for so long, is my niece. This precious, beautiful baby girl who God chose specifically for Jake and Tracy and we will all get to meet her in September.
This journey is not about me at all, but I am so grateful to be a part of it.
Tracy has been a mother in her spirit since she was a child. And now, after carefully laid plans and patient waiting, her baby girl is on her way to our family.
I have watched her and my brother love my boys, and I absolutely cannot wait to both see them become parents and to join them in the journey. This little girl has been covered in love and prayers since before her existence and that will not stop for one single day of her life.
She is blessed to not only have an amazing birth mother who loves her more than life, but also her mother and father chosen by God, as well as hundreds of other people. What a beautiful thing that this little girl, rather than being unwanted or unloved, has been so wanted and so loved that God and both of her mothers hand-picked her family.
Jake and Tracy,
I cannot imagine any two people more equipped to handle this blessing. Your baby girl is one of the luckiest little sweet peas in the whole world and I am so humbled by the process of watching you both become parents. I have a newfound appreciation for adoptive parents and their birth mothers, as well as a deeper respect for everyone’s journey toward parenthood. We don’t always know how it will look or why it looks the way it does, but once the answers are revealed, it all makes sense.
I have loved her for a thousand years, and I’ll love her for a thousand more. I know that if my love for her is this great, yours is exponentially more and I am just so excited for September and all the days after. Thank you for allowing us all to walk this path with you and for letting me share this beautiful gift with others who may be on similar paths or who can just appreciate the process. The boys are going to love her like a sister! Bring on September!!! I love you!
Welcome to parenthood! You’re in for the ride of your life. ❤
“Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.”