The heaviness was there all along,

a weight so heavy it broke me in two.

I couldn’t breathe;

the air sucked from my lungs from the force that was you.

I couldn’t fight your gravity. I collapsed right in.

It swallowed me whole.

You’re a special kind of sin.

I was suffocated. Held down. Choked in your empty hands.

Like a slave, I could never meet your demands.

I fell into your trap. Seduced in your eyes.

I smothered you in truth and you killed me with lies.

My voice was silenced; my soul lost.

I could never imagine how much it would cost.

They saw it all along. “Don’t make that mistake.”

I gave you my all.

My life you would take.

I fought the power; the pull too strong.

I sang you my heart; You despised my song.

I could’t see it then, but I felt the pain.

No matter what I did, we’d never be the same.

Your energy consumed me. I had nothing left.

Loving you pierced the bones in my chest.

The woman was lost, devoured by you

The depths of your soul I could never get to.

It took me years, beat down by your words.

I fought like hell wrapped in your cords.

You kept me down, I couldn’t loosen your grip.

I reached up to the heavens and still I slipped.

I begged you to see me. Feel me. Know me.

You tossed me aside, defiled and bleeding.

Pummeled into nothing; I allowed you to break me

Gave you the pieces and watched you take me.

It was like fighting a hurricane,

an endless spiral;

Lifeless, spent, in need of revival.

I never thought I’d escape. Thought you’d always break my heart.

But you gave me strength as you broke me apart.

Looked up, fell down, reached out for God’s hand.

He showed me the truth; the boy in the man.

You never grew up. Maybe you never will.

But you’ve got what you want; your booze and your pills.

They come in all forms, and you hold them in tight;

your silent schemes and long lonely nights.

You thought you had me,

You thought you’d win;

But I escaped your grasp and defiled your sin.

Your gravity was strong

But my God is stronger.

I found myself and could stay no longer.

Your hate gave me wings.

Your words, my spine.

I see it all now, this nightmare– divine.

You gave me a gift. The gift of me.

As you sucked me down, I found my knees.

God lifted me up, back to my feet.

Stitched me together; gave me peace.

With each breath you took, He gave me more

After all this time, I understand what for.

The air is fresh, my heart is free

My soul restored; I’ve been redeemed.

Breathless from the beauty. Never again the pain;

You broke the rules and I won the game.

I’d do it all again to find this place.

The freedom, the strength, the things I’ve gained.

Forgiveness broke the chains of your confines,

Now here I stand; your gravity, defied.