Internet commenters can be assholes.  There’s just no sugar-coating that truth. Some people live to troll the internet and be as rude and inhumane as possible in their comments on posts.

I’ve been blessed with mostly nice, supportive, encouraging comments from you all; and for that, I want to give you an enormous internet hug and scream THANK YOU right in your ears.

But occasionally, especially when my work gets published on the bigger sites where it feels less personal to be an asshole, I’ve had some humdingers for commenters. So I decided I’d let everyone know how to really make sure they hit as many asshole points as possible when commenting on posts, since that appears to be the goal for these types.

I’m on Say It With A Bang today with a satirical take on how to be an asshole commenter. Please check it out here and share it as much as you can. This is the important stuff online today guys!

Here’s a little taste:

Make sure you ONLY read the title of a post. As quickly as possible, get yourself to the comments section and blast whatever you can in the direction of the “writer” based solely on the title. If the title doesn’t give you enough ammo and you don’t feel like actually reading the post, just read the comments from other people. See a bandwagon you’d like to jump on? Great! Do that! Ride the coattails of the assholes before you and just blindly go for it.

Try hard not to have an actual thought based on anything other than the title and what you’ve seen other people say. It’s crucial to the assholery that comes with being this type of commenter.

If you do actually read the post, make sure you don’t read all the words. Just skim. Don’t bother to make it to the end. Don’t read between the lines. Don’t think outside of your own perspective AT ALL. Just glance over the article for a few seconds and then hit the comment section.

So go read the rest!

And hey, thanks for not being assholes on my blog! 🙂