I tend to shy away from highly political and highly religious topics. It’s not that I don’t have an opinion, I just prefer not to get into the chaos and arguments and debates.
But as a Christian with strong connections to the U.S. military; with the 4th of July coming up; on the heels of the June 26th Supreme Court ruling for same sex marriage; and the underlying theme in all of that being freedom, I decided maybe I would weigh in just a tad.
After Friday’s ruling, I was honestly ecstatic. I’m a bleeding heart social worker and a hopeless empath. I want everyone to be happy and healthy. I want us to all accept each other and I want love to win.
And I believe it does.
Friday also happened to be the day of my final divorce hearing. It was a stressful and emotional day of love losing in my personal life.
So a decision that not only opened the doors of equality to so many, but also demonstrated the goodness of people was truly a refreshing balance that day.
I immediately wanted to share and support and scream, “YES!!! Love really does win!!!”
And then before I could even get that fully posted to my Facebook page, the realization that as a Christian, my view of this decision may be a minority hit me like a ton of bricks.
Most of Facebook looked like the skittles factory threw up that day. And it was beautiful. But like with most controversial issues, it didn’t take long to start seeing the negative comments.
And I’m sad to say the majority came from Christians.
On Saturday, I went to church. I wondered if the same sex marriage issue would get discussed. It was toward the end of the sermon, but it finally came. And I didn’t mean to but I sort of held my breath in anxious anticipation of what he’d say about it.
At first he said what many other Christians are saying. “This is just the tip of the iceberg and a decision like this will rock the very core of humanity. This is a crucial time for Christians where we can either blend in or stand up for truth.” At one point he said something that made the entire congregation erupt with claps of agreement.
I honestly cannot remember what words he used. I just remember that I didn’t clap along. My heart sank and I thought, “This is why people don’t like Christians.”
After those statements though, he followed it up by saying that we are called to love people where they are. That it’s our job as Christians to lead people to Jesus through our love, not our judgment and condescension.
And that’s the part I can get behind.
The biggest problem I have with the judgment and fear-based resistance people demonstrate about a decision made like the one on Friday is that it wasn’t a religious decision. It was a legal decision. A decision of equal rights.
There are atheists who get married every single day. There are gay people who are Christians. And it is not gay people who are eroding the sanctity of marriage.
The divorce rate among Christians is equal to that of the “secular world.”
Christians struggle with the same sins as everyone else. The only difference is that we know who can save us from those things. Not by our works or what we do, but by our faith in God, through His GRACE.
Grace that is available to EVERYONE.
“For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
If you believe the Bible, the same Bible many use to condemn and judge others who sin differently than them, then you know the Bible says all sin is equal. The Bible talks about God’s hatred of divorce and infidelity and sex before marriage just as it does about same sex relationships. It also talks about that we are not to be jealous or gluttonous or vengeful.
But for some reason, there are certain “sins” that get singled out above others.
Now don’t get me wrong. As a human being who is not God, I have a hard time believing that murder is equal to eating too many sandwiches. But that’s just my mortal brain not being able to fully understand the depth of God’s grace.
I’m not a Bible scholar. I’m not a politician. And I’m not here to get into debates about it all.
All I know for sure is that LOVE DOES WIN.
Want to know how I know?
Because I’ve read the Bible, and according to that, God IS love, and God wins!
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8
So regardless of your personal beliefs, or even your religious beliefs, about who we’re allowed to love and what we do with our genitals, I think it’s important to remember no one down here is God and it’s not our job to decide what sins are forgivable and which ones aren’t.
According to many of the arguments people have against same sex marriage, I’m going to hell just as fast as they are because of my two divorces. And guess what! Divorce isn’t the only horrible thing I’ve done in my life or the only “sin” I struggle with.
But God still loves me.
He still has a place for me in His kingdom.
He still accepts me.
He still calls me His daughter.
His grace is still there for me.
And my faith in and relationship with Him is still ultimately the most important thing.
It works the same way for me as it does for everyone else who chooses a relationship with God.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8
So I choose love. Every time, above all else, I choose love.
And I think that’s what God wants us to do.
I think that’s ALL God wants us to do.
He wants us to first love Him, and then love each other. That’s it. That’s where our responsibility in the matter ends.
So relieve yourself of your duty to judge other people’s lifestyle choices or to condemn their relationship choices. Absolve yourself of the need to tell people who to love and how. And don’t worry about gay people ruining the sanctity of marriage.
Seems to me our divorce rate sucked long before Friday, June 26th, 2015.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Love wins. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Three Boys and a Mom 
Rachel, YES YES YES I love this and agree with you wholeheartedly
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Thank you ❤❤❤
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Honestly, my heart grieves for the decision, my friend, as it grieves for any caught in sin, hetorosexual OR homosexual. For what I believe, to approve would be like approving a friend driving into oncoming traffic. I see the harm coming down the way they might not see, and my heart hurts for it. But right there with you in the love part. My demonstration might look different as I temper love with what I believe the Bible to say, but I do believe we as Christians need to love as He loves and too many don’t. Hugs and prayers as always. Hope I spoke well there. Never want to cause a breach, dear one. 🙂
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I definitely understand and for the most part agree. The only thing I don’t agree with is the heavy focus placed on this particular sin when there are so many others we all participate in daily that to God are equally grieving. But I do get it and I’m not offended. I’m not defending any sin. All I’m saying is that if we believe in grace and what the bible says about what saves us, then I think that applies to everyone. Even gay people. Even divorced people. Even angry people. Even all of us, as long as we believe in and participate in to the best of our ability the godly truth that it is by Grace, through faith that we are saved. Our works and behaviors do matter. I’m not saying they don’t. But they don’t matter more than our hearts and our belief in God.
No one ever gets up in arms about two atheists getting married. But two gay people somehow ruins everything. It just doesn’t make sense…especially from a legal and human perspective.
We are free to disgree and still love each other. We don’t have to agree to accept each other.
You stated this very well and there’s been no breach on my end. 🙂
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Thanks, Rachael, for being one of only a couple of friends I could do that with and come out not eaten alive. 😉 I do agree as well that sin is sin is sin. We are all guilty, and thank heaven Jesus shed His blood for us.
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Absolutely!!! Eating each other alive over disagreeing slightly defeats the whole purpose. I love and respect you very much, and honestly am sure you are much more well versed in biblical teachings than I am. I almost didn’t do this post, but decided it was worth the risk… Mine is just one perspective among many. Thank you for being so respectful and supportive always, even in a controversial my sensitive issue. ❤
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Controversially***
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I agree with both of you. Honestly, this blog post made me tear up. I had so much of the same thoughts that it’s almost as if I could have written this post myself. I am a believer in the Bible. But nowhere in my Bible, unless Jesus was chastising them, do I see the kind of religious hateful tones toward those that have yet to find His love as an example of how to treat people correctly. God is LOVE. And we misrepresent Him daily. Thank God for His grace. Thank you for your boldness to write this.
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Shucks. Thanks, but I am not so edjumicated as I appear. 😉 We are all of us learning and growing in His word. Glad to read your perspective. If we would do more listening and less bickering, people might see more Jesus.
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I agree wholeheartedly with that ❤😍
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You are right, we all sin every single day. No sin is greater than another, The difference is, if you are a Christian, you recognize when you sin and ask for forgiveness and try not to do it again. Being homosexual is a sin. Homosexuals that are “getting married” are not asking for forgiveness. They are continually sinning that same sin and they don’t recognize it to be a sin.
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I honestly believe some Christians wield certain verses as battle swords without the slightest idea of the context or placement from where its plucked! The most famous being “the abomination” quote. FIRST off it is from the OLD testement. The OLD covenent, pre-jesus. Ya know, we dont still sacrifice lambs and we break just about every other “rule” given in that section. So I find it funny that folks hold so tightly to this. Flip into the NEW testement… (yay, Jesus! ) where you will find in Romans the verse that states that God insituted governments and that if a government recognizes a marriage, God recognizes it. Hmm. Oh yeah… and betcha won’t find a single red word about homosexuality in the Bible. Nope. Jesus never said A WORD about it. So rock on threeboysandamom and celebrate love without guilt! Don’t let the “Word warriors” unrightfully steal your joy!
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Well said Rachael! 🙂
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Beautiful post – I wouldn’t have had to courage to tackle this subject. And I’m SO sorry to hear about your divorce 😦
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I just wanted to reach through my phone and hug you after reading this! Well said!
I chose not to get into any arguements on this topic (have yet to check my FACEBOOK page too) since I know everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. I kept my post short and I’ve also schedule a post for a year from June 26th to remember the anniversary of such a fantastic victory.
Awesome post! Indeed #LoveWins!!
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I’m an atheist and I really enjoyed this post. Thank you, for being the ‘other side’ of Christianity – the side that isn’t hateful and condescending and hypocritical. It is wonderful to see a side that is kind and actually happy for the people who will now be able to marry their loved ones.
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In the end love always wins. Beautiful written Rachel, all the best to you. 😊
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Very well said! This issue is just one of many in the news today that brings out all of the extremes of people’s beliefs and I, like you, tend to steer clear. I think you take such a realistic and logical stance here and I applaud you for it. None of us are perfect. Not anyone of any race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. If it does you or no one else any harm, live and let live.
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