Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s exhausting. Really, life is exhausting.
I mean all the responsibility. The doing and the being and the adulting. It’s a lot sometimes.
My babysitter owes me a few days of watching the boys for “free” from many days of me paying her even though the boys weren’t there. Today, my ex was supposed to have them for an over night visit but of course, something else came up. So I had some options.
1. Keep on living life as usual and soak in extra time with my boys.
Or
2. Cash in on my available child care and do something for myself.
I’ve been tired and ornery and sick of adulthood this week, so I chose the latter.
I did good mom things first though. 7:30 til about 3:30 we did all the stuff… Played, laughed, talked, took a walk, played outside and just enjoyed the work free day. But by 3:30, my hormones were a buzz and I was over it. Time for the babysitter to step in and give this mama a break.
So we loaded up and headed over. They hadn’t napped yet so of course, everyone fell fast asleep in the van on the way. A 12 minute nap never goes well as you might imagine, so waking them up to leave them at the babysitter’s house was…let’s just say, unpleasant.
The boys were all 3 clinging and crying, and one even tried to run out into the road in protest of me dodging motherhood for a few hours. He collapsed into a pile, kicked, screamed, the whole nine. I hate to admit it, but that scene almost made it a little easier to leave.
Then as I drove away, they all popped their little crying faces into the window to wave and blow me kisses.
Cue the mom guilt!
After I shook that off, I thought about what I wanted to do with the 4ish hours I’d have to myself, and I really had big plans. The possibilities were endless.
Shop? Clean? Bathe? Write a book!? Or at least a few blog posts!
What IS a mom to do with 4 hours of solitude!?
So I decided first things first.
Walk around Target aimlessly without the kids. Everyone knows the mecca of mom vacations is Target sans children. I was pumped! No circus of children to load and unload. No one fighting over the cart, no one running through the aisles, no juggling of anything, no trips to the bathroom. Just me. On vacation. In Target.
As I drove I realized how very tired I was. So, I pulled into the parking lot, found a perfect spot in the back, put the mom wagon in park, leaned back, and TOOK A NAP!
That’s right folks! I went to Target by myself, and I took a nap in the parking lot! I dropped my kids off with a babysitter, drove to Target, and Took. A. Nap.
I spent a good 40 minutes of my 4 hours taking a horizontal pause in the parking lot of momland. And it was fantastic!
I woke up, still feeling quite droopy but not willing to sacrifice any more minutes of my me time, and I sleep walked into Tarjay.
I perused the dollar section and picked up several unnecessary items. But who can resist that section, really!? Then I swooped through the bathing suits, and quickly kept rolling because who wants to ruin their precious moments of alone time torturing themselves in mirror hell? Not me! I sauntered past the clothes and the adorable, but not cheap, shoes; grabbed a pair of $3.99 flops and kept it moving. Then I meandered over to the food, grabbed a few things I needed, and several others I didn’t, and slid on over to the makeup section as I headed to the check out.
I was only there for about half an hour because although this was vacation, it’s short people. Gotta use your time wisely.
After my refreshing Target nap and kid free shopping experience, I headed home to start writing my book. Because every writer knows the best writing happens when you’re tired, cranky, and rushing to squeeze too many things into a few hour period of time as you fight the mom war of guilt in your mind.
But on the way, there was a frozen yogurt shop. And the weather was beautiful. So I stopped. I took myself on a FroYo date and I sat outside, eating my frozen yogurt in peace. I didn’t share it with anyone. I didn’t clean any off of anyone’s clothes, face or hands. I didn’t break up any fights about who had more or who got to hold how many spoons. I just sat there, enjoying my very own tasty treat.
Mom guilt would have me feel like a terrible mother for dumping my babies off on someone else and then accomplishing absolutely nothing. My inner critic would make me feel bad that I didn’t spend every waking moment with my boys. And perfectionism would want to make me feel like a messy failure for not only not cleaning or writing my book or doing anything useful, but for also taking a nap in a parking lot and then FroYoing it up.
But I refuse!
Moms need breaks in order to be good moms. Moms have to take care of themselves in order to be able to best take care of their babies. Good moms know when they need some time to regroup, and they take it. And then they return to their children, able to give them their best.
Good moms take opportunities to go to Target alone, and sometimes, they even take naps in the damn parking lot. Because they’re freaking tired.
Adulting is hard. Momming is extra hard. But it’s all worth every single second. Every now and then though, we have to take a few moments to ourselves, however they come.
Next time you get the chance to go somewhere alone, live it up for the few minutes it lasts. And by live it up I mean shower for God sakes. Or sit for an uninterrupted 5 minutes. Watch something with real people on the TV. Do, or eat, something you love. If you’re tired, take a nap! Fight off the guilt and remind yourself you deserve a break! It’s how we stay on Target! (See what I did there?)
And then go hug your babies. They missed you. 🙂
Three Boys and a Mom 
Aww, LOL!! I love how you spent your little vacation! Sweet slumber, indeed. I’ve missed your posts, Rachael, but I’m back to blogging now! 😀
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Yay Valerie! I am so glad to see you back and i can’t wait to catch up on what you’ve been doing!! 😊 I wish that nap had rejuvenated me a little more because I still feel pooped lol
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Well I just had to read this because I love Target! It’s great to eat Froyo in complete silence without having to share. I’m glad you took a little time for yourself. =)
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Haha thanks Melissa! It was a nice few hours!
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Oh, you have me smiling and nodding! Sounds heavenly! Those few hours are so precious-you want to do everything and nothing all at once. And then, we find it’s really those simple pleasures that get you recharged for the crazy ride. (And the book! That I so want to read when it’s done! Mine is…getting there. Lol)
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Oh thank you!!! You’re so right…everything and nothing all at once. It’s challenging haha! And the book is really still only in my head, and coming out in small blog posts rather than getting written like I want it to. I just have to start somewhere. I’m going to read yours too! Thank you for the encouragement as always!!
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I love this post, as a single mom I feel like a rejected puzzle piece trying to fit in all the time, and I DO feel guilty when those moments happen!!! BUT YOUR RIGHT! we cant be impossible with ourselves! I too have a blog that I recently started as a passion and a hobby I also do art! But I like your stuff and I’ll share it and tweet it and keep checking back .. I mean I don’t really do online blogs much, but this spoke to my heart ❤ GO YOU!!! if you want to check out my blog or maybe any of your readers (great minds think alike) check it out at http://www.therevelationstudio.com 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤
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Yes! I will absolutely be checking out your blog and am so glad you found me and have stuck around! I do feel guilty too. I never do that….Like as in never! That’s the first time ever actually… I already feel bad enough leaving them all day to be at work each day, and then the times there are visits with their dad, I’m away from them, so I’m never okay with more time away. But I needed it, and we have to take care of ourselves. Mama guilt is awful though. Not to mention it’s just almost impossible to find the time, resources, etc as a single mama..even if there wasn’t any guilt. But I hope you can squeeze in some guilt free me time somewhere. You deserve it.
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Love it! Absolutely, as a mum, you have to put yourself first sometimes. If you don’t look after yourself, you can’t look after your kids. Happy mummy = happy kids. Good on you for taking the time out you needed and do something nice 🙂
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Absolutely! Thank you so much! ❤
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Good for you!! And you write beautifully.
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Oh that means a lot Alma! Thank you so much!
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Really understand where you are coming from. I actually don’t get a lot of free down time because I don’t use babysitters that often. When I do get “me time” taking an extended nap is definitely on the agenda. But I have to admit that my favorite place to indulge myself is Ikea and Costco. I find that instead of doing something for myself, like getting a manicure or pedicure, I think in terms of getting what my family needs or getting something that my boys would enjoy. Oh well!!!
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I’m the same way. I ended up buying things for my boys at Target, and I never use my babysitter except for work. I feel too bad leaving them for extra time, plus normally, I just like hanging out with them anyway! But we do all need some small breaks occasionally. Whatever you enjoy doing, even if it’s things for your family, I hope you get to do that alone occasionally because it is refreshing, although guilt inducing at times haha. That’s motherhood!
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Oh Rachael this is so funny lol I love your blog dude. I’m so very fortunate to have both my kids in school all day so I tend to run errands during this time, but on school breaks or the weekend?! I’m BEGGING for Monday mornings so I can have some peace LOL
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Haha! Thank you for the compliment and so glad to see your name on my blog today! 🙂
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moms do need breaks, now that my daughter is nearly 12 I realize those hard days make the teen years look easy.
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Haha well that’s good to know! 🙂 Thank you!
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I love that you took a nap in the parking lot. Good for you. I don’t take enough time for myself and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I just loose it, because I’m so tired of all the kids stuff. Well, I do have five of them which does not help. I love your reminder of taking care of yourself.
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Thank you! I’ve taken a nap in the parking lot when my boys were all asleep too… haha! No sense waking them up when I could just join them for a few minutes! It’s not often, but when I can, it’s nice. We do have to get in where we fit in as moms but it’s so important to find even a few minutes for yourself. Thanks for reading!
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Adulting! Indeed. How funny you ended up at Target. I usually end up doing simple things too. Quietly. Alone. Glad you took the time for you, Rachael. You’re right. Everyone is better for it. A good, but funny post.
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Thank you traci!! You’re right, it’s simple things but everyone is better for it in the end. It’s amazing how such a small break can make such a big difference! Moms for self care, unite!! 🙂
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Adulting is way hard! 😉 It is amazing how different shopping feels without towing kids along. You sure did manage to get a lot done in those scant four hours.
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Oh thank you Shelah!!! It’s so true…adulting is very hard! And we have to take a few breathers lest we collapse haha. Hope you get some kid free time for yourself too!
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Such a great mommy break! I was just thinking about taking a day or 1/2 day off of work to have a mommy break. I need to recharge so I can be the best mom for my kids. I also need new pants. LOL
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Haha new pants are the perfect excuse for a break!!! I say do it! 🙂
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This is the best: “Adulting is hard. Momming is extra hard”
I LOVE that you took a nap at target! I also am in shock that the make up section wasn’t your FIRST stop 😉 That’s where I’d go first! But the question is: what flavor froyo did you get?!
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Haha!!! You’re right… make up should’ve been my first stop! I did get a couple lip liners that I am in love with… Rimmel baby! And as for the froyo, I couldn’t decide on just one so it was a threesome! Can’t remember all the flavors but it was good…and I even put sprinkles, caramel and peanut butter drizzle on top! Knocked the healthy right out 🙂
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LOVE IT! You are so right… adulting and momming is hard work and we all deserve a break every once in a while. I found your blog through the Mommy Meet-Up, but will be back again. I love your transparency and look forward to reading more. 🙂 Lana
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Oh I’m so glad you’re here and will stick around. Looking forward to reading more from you too! And thank you….. adulting and momming is hard, and we need occasional breaks. That’s really all I’m saying! haha 🙂
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Ha! I have to say I rarely feel the mom guilt, luckily. If I work so much that I don’t see that babes for more than a few minutes, then yes, lay on the mom guilt, but taking time for myself on occasion or dropping the kids off with a sitter sometimes leaves me with no guilt. I’ve come to the realization if I don’t take those breaks for myself then I end up high-strung, grumpy, resentful, exhausted and worn-down. Then my overall demeanor takes a blow which affects my mothering and in turn, my kids–from my perspective, that’s something I feel mom guilt over. So taking a break occasionally is a necessity, in my mind, to be the best mom possible! Props to you for the nap in a parking lot!
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OH, You nailed it!!!!!! Yes!! Good for you not being guilty for taking care of yourself. I do feel much more guilt when my fuse is too short than when I’ve taken a few moments to myself. Thanks for this!
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You DID accomplish something!! You recharged. I sit in the Target parking lot and check my phone when my kid isn’t with me. Because YES. YES. Awesome post.
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Oh yes! I do that too! I do it when they’re with me too if they happen to be napping. Buys them a few more Z’s and let’s me catch up on important social media business haha. Multi-tasking! 🙂
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So glad that you got some well earned time out to yourself! My favorite was when I sat in the grocery store parking lot, eating a chocolate donut and listening to Katy Perry.
And now I want frozen yogurt!!
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Oh YES! Go getcha some! 🙂 Love that Ashley! We moms gotta do what gotta do!
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this was awesome–so funny and so true! Love your writing Rachel!
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Thank you so much Krista!!! 😘😍
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[…] because either my ex-husband has decided to follow through on visitation, or I’ve decided to use my babysitter to get a few minutes to myself, I get a glimpse into the world of no […]
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I absolutely love this post! The fact that you equate taking breaks to being a good mom is just the way we all should treat motherhood. It’s ok if we want to hit the pause button for a little me time. We have to BE well in order for the kids to DO well, after all. Thank you for sharing this! It was funny, and endearing and so so true.
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You are absolutely right about that! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! ❤
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Thanks for linking up at MeetUp Monday!
–Krista
http://www.thequinntessentialmommy.com
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Thanks Krista!
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