God speaks to me through small, unexpected, and seemingly even insignificant moments. I hear him most clearly through the mouths of my children.
Like most everyone with young children, we have baby gates up around the house. One of them is a mesh, net type material. Somewhere along the way, a hole appeared in the mesh.
The other day, after a long day at work and about 5 hours of sleep, I sat with Ethan as he finished his dinner at a painstakingly slow toddler pace and the other two ran around like lunatics on fire. They were being absolutely precious but even still, I could feel my patience slipping. It was already 7:30 and the minutes left in our day were disappearing along with my mom of the year award.
Ethan stood up and started looking at the hole in the gate as he chewed his food. The boys have been known to play with the hole, which of course, makes it bigger. So, I was preparing myself to say, “Ethan, leave the hole alone and EAT YOUR FOOD PLEASE!!” with as much patience as I could muster, when all of a sudden, he gets a sweet look on his face and says, “Mom, Its a beautiful hole!”
I don’t know about you, but things like that just break my bad mood right open.
The perspective of a child is truly a gift. Never in my life have I looked at a hole like that and thought, “Its beautiful.”
But kids do.
And God does.
The inside of my heart and soul often look like that mesh gate. Full of thousands of little holes and sometimes, really big ones. But God sees them and calls them beautiful.
I don’t think it’s the hole itself He calls beautiful so much as His ability to fill it. That’s where I find beauty through the broken places of my soul.
Where there are holes, God’s love can come in. Where there is brokenness, His grace can mend it.
So often we try to fill those holes, voids and broken places with other things. With people. Bad habits. Busyness. Addictions. We are uncomfortable in our incompleteness and rather than allowing the only One who can truly complete us to work through the holes, we seek and search on our own.
It is in those times of seeking and searching on my own that I find all I do, is tear the hole bigger.
I believe children are where heaven and earth meet. There is something holy about our babies and their ability to see not only truth, but beauty in its purest form. Our children’s hearts are tucked right into God’s hands and I believe that is why I hear God most clearly through my boys.
They see things we don’t. They understand things we can’t. They find joy in the things we miss. And they find beauty everywhere.
I believe it’s God’s way of reminding me not only of the gift I’ve been given through my children, but the gift we’ve all been given through His son.
Jesus makes all of our holes beautiful. Where we see damage, he sees healing. Where we see pain, he sees redemption. Where we are weak, he is strong. Where we find flaw, he sees beauty.
I know of nothing braver than standing there with our flaws wide open, holes showing, heart bruised, trusting God to meet us right there in our brokenness. I know of nothing more courageous than lifting our broken hearts toward Heaven, believing that God will fill every empty place.
He will, you know?
Because when he looks at you, he sees his daughter. He sees his son. He sees perfection. Not because you are perfect, but because He is; and where you have holes, He can fill them.
He looks at your broken heart and says, “Its a beautiful hole!”