There are many absolutely amazing things about motherhood; and in my opinion, most all of it falls under that category. There are some brackets of motherhood, however, that while still sweetly nestled in the overall category of “amazing,” seem to fit better under the heading “mysteries.”
Here are just a few of the questions I ask myself on an almost daily basis.
1. Where did the booger come from? And how long has it been there?
2. If the clothes aren’t soaked with pee and the diapers are still on, how did the giant pee spot get on the bed?
3. Do they not smell the pee smell wafting from their precious blanket and wouldn’t that smell make them NOT want to wrap the blanket around their face like a hijab?
4. How did so much food get into my children’s diapers? I didn’t even see them eat anything! Are they just bypassing their mouth and shoving it straight into the diaper to save time?
5. How long has the cheerio (or any other food item) been in my bra/underwear? And how!?
6. Why does a child cry when you give them a clean diaper and say things like, “I wanna keep my poopy!”? And really, who am I to stop him from keeping his poop? Have at it dude! (Ok, not really!)
7. Doesn’t it hurt to wear your shoes (that are too small) on the wrong feet all day?
8. Why is asking for something sad?
9. How does hitting yourself solve your problem? Running away and hiding? Collapsing into a toddler sized pile in the middle of the floor?
10. What would happen if I did that!?
11. Where does their energy come from?
12. What is so interesting about someone going to the bathroom?
13. How do they travel so fast!?
14. Why must they be begged and bribed to eat? I wish someone would beg and bribe me to eat, and then reward me with a gummy bear and a kiss! They have no idea how good they have it!
15. How do their tiny bodies take up so much space in a bed/couch? And in my heart?
16. How do their tiny hands grab so many things so quickly?
17. How do they put the things they put in their mouths? Leggos, bottle caps, plastic eggs, dog food, loose parts from the toilet, centipedes, poop….. (that’s right…all of those are real items my youngest has had in his mouth in the last few hours.)
18. If they each have the exact same thing, why do they still fight to have the other one’s thing?
19. Do they think their penis will fall off? Do they want it to fall off? Doesn’t it hurt to grab it that much?
20. Are they bipolar!? Am I bipolar!? How do we all experience so many emotions in one day without a diagnosable excuse?
21. How is it possible to love these mysteries so much and my heart not explode?
There’s just no way around it. Kids are a mystery! A beautiful, crazy, wild, amazing mystery. What kinds of questions do you find yourself pondering throughout the day?