Mysteries of Motherhood

There are many absolutely amazing things about motherhood; and in my opinion, most all of it falls under that category. There are some brackets of motherhood, however, that while still sweetly nestled in the overall category of “amazing,” seem to fit better under the heading “mysteries.”

Here are just a few of the questions I ask myself on an almost daily basis.

1. Where did the booger come from? And how long has it been there?

2. If the clothes aren’t soaked with pee and the diapers are still on, how did the giant pee spot get on the bed?

3. Do they not smell the pee smell wafting from their precious blanket and wouldn’t that smell make them NOT want to wrap the blanket around their face like a hijab?

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4. How did so much food get into my children’s diapers? I didn’t even see them eat anything! Are they just bypassing their mouth and shoving it straight into the diaper to save time?

5. How long has the cheerio (or any other food item) been in my bra/underwear? And how!?

6. Why does a child cry when you give them a clean diaper and say things like, “I wanna keep my poopy!”? And really, who am I to stop him from keeping his poop? Have at it dude! (Ok, not really!)

7. Doesn’t it hurt to wear your shoes (that are too small) on the wrong feet all day?

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8. Why is asking for something sad?

9. How does hitting yourself solve your problem? Running away and hiding? Collapsing into a toddler sized pile in the middle of the floor?

10. What would happen if I did that!?

11. Where does their energy come from?

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12. What is so interesting about someone going to the bathroom?

13. How do they travel so fast!?

14. Why must they be begged and bribed to eat? I wish someone would beg and bribe me to eat, and then reward me with a gummy bear and a kiss! They have no idea how good they have it!

15. How do their tiny bodies take up so much space in a bed/couch? And in my heart?

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16. How do their tiny hands grab so many things so quickly?

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In a matter of seconds!

17. How do they put the things they put in their mouths? Leggos, bottle caps, plastic eggs, dog food, loose parts from the toilet, centipedes, poop….. (that’s right…all of those are real items my youngest has had in his mouth in the last few hours.)

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This is the actual disgustingness fished out of my child’s mouth! A real live centipede! Luckily my son bit it instead of the other way around.) I die!

18. If they each have the exact same thing, why do they still fight to have the other one’s thing?

19. Do they think their penis will fall off? Do they want it to fall off? Doesn’t it hurt to grab it that much?

20. Are they bipolar!? Am I bipolar!? How do we all experience so many emotions in one day without a diagnosable excuse?

21. How is it possible to love these mysteries so much and my heart not explode?

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There’s just no way around it. Kids are a mystery! A beautiful, crazy, wild, amazing mystery. What kinds of questions do you find yourself pondering throughout the day?

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29 thoughts on “Mysteries of Motherhood

  1. Hahah, I love this! I found myself nodding my head in agreement to a lot of what you said here! But seriously, OMG that centipede! My son is JUST growing into that whole, “hey let’s put everything in my mouth” phase, and I’m just waiting for the day he tries to eat a bug. -_-

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    • Oh my gosh….I literally died! It was still alive!!!!! My son killed it with his tiny chompers! And thank God because those things are poisonous!!! Wtf lol! I think that may have grossed/freaked me out worse than the time I couldn’t tell if he had poop or dirt in his mouth haha! It’s all fun! Especially the mysteries of what’s in their mouth haha! Thanks for your comment and for reading! ☺

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  2. Ha! How about a whole post dedicated to things my sons have put into their mouths, and honestly sometimes I’m surprised they’ve survived! Haha. Including but not limited to: a bandaid found at the playground. My shoes, my husbands shoes, my toddlers shoes, what is it about shoes that babies always want to taste them? The dog toys. The dog bone. Dog food. Etc etc etc lol

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    • Oh my gosh…yes yes and yes yes yes!!!! I don’t u understand it…. there does need to be a whole,post dedicated to just that! Its mind boggling, and amazing They haven’t contracted some deadly virus by now! A gold fish from the parking lot…. a cigarette butt at the play ground…. seriously! The list is endless!

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    • Haha yes Tarynn… I think a small piece of me died last night when that happened. Lol! He’s a mess!!! Everything you never knew, and never wanted to know, was in your house, he finds it….and puts it in his mouth! πŸ˜ƒ

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    • Oh you’re so sweet to me! πŸ˜‰ Thank you!! The centipede still gives me shivers! But hey…at least he win that battle haha! And thank you, that means so much! I always thought I’d be a girl mom but now having all boys, I agree…I was made for boys. I now am not sure what I’d do with a girl haha πŸ˜‰ although I have some ideas! 😍 happy to link up with you always!

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  3. OH MY GOODNESS!! If it makes you feel any better, you’ll wake up one morning and wonder who the man child asking for your car keys is. . .wasn’t this just the same boy who would never leave your bed??
    Hang in there Momma-you’re doing great!

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  4. OMG I can’t believe your son put a centipede in his mouth. I hate hate hate those things! I think I’d have a heart attack fishing it out of there! You deserve a medal πŸ™‚ Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!

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