***This is not a post to say anything negative about non breastfeeders, but simply to discuss some of the beauty, pain, joy, and hilarity of breastfeeding.
I realized the other day that I have been breastfeeding 3 tiny humans almost solidly for the last 28 months. That’s almost 2 and a half years of giving my boobs over to my boys; with no end in sight, at least not any time soon.
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my babies. My mom breastfed all 4 of us, and knowing all of the benefits, of which there are too many to count, there just was no question for me. When I found out I was having twins, I was a little nervous to go from no babies to two and doubted my ability to handle it at times. Luckily, my mom nursed 4 babies successfully, two of which were twins, so she knew the ropes and helped me along.
I quickly learned: two babies, two arms, two boobs…no problem! ☺
Breastfeeding has not always been the most popular choice,, and there has certainly always been controversy surrounding the topic. Nonetheless, it has become somewhat of a culture; one I am very proud to be a part of. Thankfully, today it is becoming more of the popular choice and people are not scared to advocate for women who breastfeed to be able to do it without judgment, even (gasp) in public.
I never really expected myself to become such a breastfeeding advocate and love it as much as I do, but here I am. A fairly crunchy, breastfeeding (uncovered, in public), baby-wearing, co-sleeping, bed-sharing mama of 3.
I started thinking the other day of all the things that go into breastfeeding successfully, and what life becomes as a result. I started making a list of my own, but I’m part of a wonderful breastfeeding group on Facebook, so I asked them to chime in on this list.
Here is what we came up with!
You Know You’re a Breastfeeding Mom When…
1. Everything in your wardrobe is based on boob accessibility.
2. When any child cries, but especially your own, your boobs automatically pucker up and get ready for action.
3. Any boob shaped item is attacked by your child.
4. You are so used to having your boobs out that you have to remind yourself to check them before leaving the house.
5. You no longer have any sense of shame when discussing your breasts…with anyone!
6. Your first thought is, “I wonder if breastmilk would cure that!?” (Breastmilk can cure almost anything!)
7. Riding a roller coaster now includes a milk shower.
8. Everyone asks you, “Aren’t you going to pack a bottle or some food!?” but all you really need is your body.
9. You use breastmilk as creamer.
10. Your baby starts to root and tries to latch onto anyone who tries to hold them.
11. You’re entire schedule, work or home, revolves around your boobs and feeding your baby. (Or pumping if necessary).
12. You grab your boobs to see which is bigger to determine which side your baby should eat from. And you don’t think twice about who is watching.
13. Someone asks if you’ve spilt your drink, only to look down and realize you’re a leaky mess and it’s coming from your boobs.
14. Even at 16 months old, and beyond, boob juice will knock your baby out cold.
15. You say things like “boob juice and liquid gold” on the regular.
16. You go all day long only to realize your nursing bra has been unhooked the whole time.
17. You can’t remember when the last time you wore a real bra was.
18. Everything in your house has breastmilk on it and has become a staple in every outfit. And you’re not bothered.
19. Your baby insists on scooting down to your boob no matter how you’re holding them.
20. People ask you when you’re going to give it up, as if it’s going out of fashion or there’s an exact cut off time.
21. There is no one in the world happier to see your boob than your baby.
22. You’re a pumping mom and 80% of your brain power is used determining if you have enough milk for the week/next day.
23. You know the saying, “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” is a lie that came from someone who has never pumped 6 ozs and spilled it everywhere, because you have in fact bauled over your own spilt milk.
24. You go to the bathroom in the middle of the night with one or both boobs hanging out due to your breastfeeding co-sleeper.
25. You look like Madonna with your nursing flaps wide open at the beginning of each day.
26. You are hesitant to go places that won’t enable you to pump if you’re without your baby. And you don’t go anywhere that won’t allow you to either have your baby or a pump (preferably your baby) if it’s going to be longer than 4 hours.
27. You carry your pump bag like a purse.
28. You find a dried booger on your boob and have no idea how long it’s been there.
29. Someone is always touching your boob, and it no longer phases you at all.
30. You’re in the store and suddenly freak out and grab your boobs to make sure you put them away after the last feeding you did in the car.
31. Everything you wear is for quick pump/feeding access.
32. You cut your finger and squirt breast milk on it in hopes it will heal faster. And you feel proud when it seems to work.
33. You have to put a note in the fridge that says, “NOT FOR COFFEE!”
34. You answer the door for UPS and after the fact realize you still had your pumping bra and flanges on. Or that you forgot to put your shirt down.
35. You look forlornly at all your pre-baby, non-Breastfeeding friendly clothes and think, “Not today, but someday!”
36. Your husband exclaims, “Ahhh, you’re leaking on me!”
37. You’ve said the words, “Ah, eat!! The milk is going everywhere!” to your baby.
38. You have to remind your baby your nipples are not elevator buttons…or twisty nobs, or toys, or made of playdough.
39. The first time your baby sleeps through the night you don’t know if you should celebrate or cry, and you have two BIG reasons you debate waking them up!
40. It feels good to be “let down.”
41. You’ve whipped your boob out almost everywhere (tactfully of course)…including church, restaurants, friends homes, etc. A baby’s gotta eat!
42. You plan everything you do based on the length of time it will be before you can feed your baby again.
43. You get all warm and fuzzy when you see another breastfeeding mom in public and wonder if you should give her a high five and a hug because, “Did we just become best friends!??”
44. You’ve been sprayed in the face with your own milk while your baby squeezed it in the middle of eating.
45. Lactmed is your most Googled site.
46. Everything you eat or drink, and all medicine, must be breastfeeding friendly. And even if you need a certain kind of medicine, you don’t take it if it’s not lactmed approved.
47. Your non-Breastfeeding toddlers try to nurse their stuffed animals, or hook themselves up to a pump, or show you their boobs ☺
48. You’ve learned how to do almost everything you used to do with two hands with one working arm and a baby dangling from your boob.
This includes:
-going to the bathroom
-changing another child’s diaper
-brushing your teeth
-making other toddlers food and/or sippy cups of their preferred beverage
-exercising
-pretty much anything but driving a car…and you so would if you wouldn’t go to jail!
49. Your boobs can solve almost any problem.
50. Your boobs look like deflated water balloons, but you’re ok with it because of the wonderful things they’ve done.
Breastfeeding is truly a miraculous life giving, bonding experience; one I wouldn’t trade for the world.
What has your experience been, and what would you add to the list?
Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to vote!
Three Boys and a Mom 
Ah, yes….I remember these! I was counting up once-I have been pregnant or nursing for 9 of the past 27 years! Each of my 4 kids had their own needs…the girls didn’t nurse as long as the boys. My last nursing was about five years ago. I was 43 years old…gosh. With my second child, I was a Le Leche League leader and area rep, a 100% cloth diaper user…with numbers 3 and 4, I was the breadwinner of the family. Each experience became its own chapter. How nice to have online support! Internet wasn’t around when I had my first two kids…I would have loved that! 💚
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Yes I’m blessed with family support, but if I didn’t have that, the online support would be absolutely essential. Its an amazing group of women! I love breastfeeding and will be truly sad when it’s over. And yeah I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding since October of 2011 (that’s when I found out at least.) Its all amazing and miraculous and I love it all! 😃 and you’re right, each one is a new chapter.,pretty cool!
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Your posts always bring a smile!!
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Oh that means so much to me, Thank you!!
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Awesome! I remember almost crying when I split some of my breast milk…..especially if I wasn’t producing a lot. It truly is like liquid gold.
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Oh my gosh, absolutely!!! I have cried haha!
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I meant spilt!
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Haha, I gotcha ☺
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Such a great post! So sad that these days are almost over for me but the memories my family has made during this time is too many to count.
While it’s not legal to nurse while driving I did master the skill of pumping while driving so I could work and fulfill my mom duties.
I think every kid around has seen my boobs. No matter where you are they all want to see under the utter cover. Didn’t bother me but it sure does embarrass those kids moms that didn’t nurse!
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Hahaha that’s funny. Yeah, not,much bothers me Butbi realize I may not be the majority with this kind of stuff. Breatfeeding loosens you up a little I think! And yes, I’ll be very sad when these days end 😒
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I want to comment on almost every single number, lol. But I will refrain and only comment on a few. WHAT IS WITH #20?!? I just don’t understand the mentality that there is a magic, vague time to be cut-off that I somehow missed the boat on. With respect to milk everywhere, on everything, I even find myself wiping it off of the dashboard of my car unsure of when it would have even gotten there in the first place. And in terms of the delayed reaction to your boob being out, story. of. my. life. Especially as you said, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and not even remembering when I took it out! Because like you, my kids are close in age (though I only have two), I am almost at two years, 6 months of breastfeeding straight. And like you, there is no visible end in sight. Lol. Loved this post, am sharing it.
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Yay!!!! I’m so glad you liked it and are sharing! Thank you!!! So funny! And I agree about number 20…why people feel the need to worry about is what’s extra interesting about it. What do they care!? I’m going to miss these days so much when they end. I’m grateful even at 10 months, my little man hasn’t slowed down at all! So hopefully we have a while to go! 😀
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I love 6,12, and 28! To true!!! This was a really fun read. I have loved bread feeding my baby girl who is 19 months now!
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19 months. ..go mama!! Thank you!!! Glad you enjoyed this. Breastfeeding mamas speak the same language huh!? 😃
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Hilarious! I could never get the hang of breast pumps. They took so much time! My kids have done the “breastfeeding their toys”. Still makes me laugh, thinking about it. I still remember finding my boy sitting so still on the couch with Curious George under his shirt.
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Oh my gosh that’s so sweet!!! I love when they do that. And yes, pumping is a major pain and I don’t love it. Luckily right now I’m not having to do it but it’s a good thing to have for in case situations. Thank you for your comment Ai. ☺
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I was lucky enough that I and my babies were all able to breastfeed too. There are so many lovely points in the post. The little hand on your breast and the wee smiles are just so precious.
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Thank you so much! Breatfeeding is one of the most amazing things in the world, in my opinion! ❤
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There’s no use crying over spilled milk…unless it’s breast milk…great post!
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Ain’t that the truth!!! Thank you ☺
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Rachael, I effing LOVE you hahaha! This post is amaaaaaazing! LOVE the funny pictures too, but most of all I LOVE the pic of you breastfeeding your little man. Last week I was packing my car with groceries, and in the car next to me was a woman with twins. She had one of them in the front seat and started looking around to see if anyone was looking as she was about to breastfeeding. I stopped dead in my tracks, smiled at her and gave her two thumbs up! She smiled back and then started feeding. I could tell she was sort of afraid to do so being in a parking lot, but I think/hope I made her feel more comfortable! I love love love this post girl! Xoxoxo
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Ohh this is such a heart melting comment! Thank you!!! I love you too! 😍 I’m glad you gave her the thumbs up… I used to feed the twins in the car all the time (I always did tandem) and occasionally got stares, but it was always nice to have smiles and supportive thumbs up. In so glad you loved this… I actually ended up leaving out several things and was worried the list was too long, but I could’ve gone all day haha! Glad you liked it…thanks for the love!!! ❤❤❤
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Another fantastic and funny post. I’ve spent five of the last ten years breast feeding and after awhile you really stop caring who sees what at all. Thanks for this great post and all the laughs. 🙂
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Haha, I totally agree! I could care less at this point. If you dint like it, look away! 😉 thank you so much, I’m so glad it brought a smile to your face! 😃
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My girl looked like the end of a porn show once she learned the pincer grab. She would just squirt the other boob all over herself while she nursed. She squirted it on her dad, and he was majorly grossed out.
The worse was when she started sleeping longer. I was frantically shoving my boob in her mouth when she woke up because it hurt so much to have all that milk in there waiting to come out.
When she was brand new, I leaked every time I came in contact with her. I was napping while someone else held her, and they brought her in for a diaper change. Boom! The baby is covered in milk and needs new clothes.
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Oh my gosh haha, yep…been there done those too! Lol
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Omg. Point 1 is my big thing! I can’t remember when I last wore a dress!! Ha ha 😛 Great post 😀 x
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Haha, thank you so much! I’ve worn a dress if and only if I can easily slip my boob out somehow…either slide down or take my arm out of the sleeve easily haha! Thanks for reading and following!! 😃
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Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop! Your post is featured this week! Check it out at http://mommyatozblog.com/Get-Linky/. This week’s post is now live…hope to see you there!
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This is such an honor. Thank you thank you!!! ❤❤
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This is the ultimate list! Love it and relate to them all! Happy to find your blog 🙂
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Oh thank you so much!!! So glad you enjoyed it and found me 😀
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