In today’s world of Pinterest and perfection, it can be difficult to side step the pit of comparison and the trap of secret mom wars.
We are flooded with what we should be doing for our kids and what someone else is doing better. The crafts, the activities, the lessons, the plans, the play dates, the schedules, the rules. It seems motherhood has turned into a competitive sport these days. I wouldn’t be surprised if within a few years, “Motherhood” becomes the next event in the Olympic games. (Although we do work hard enough to deserve a spot.)
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Motherhood today is survival of the fittest and triumph of the trendiest. Everyone has an opinion about what you should be doing, what they would do differently, and why you’re doing it wrong no matter what route you’ve taken. There’s always something else. Something better, someone more organized, someone with a better plan, a more successful child. To someone, you will always be doing it wrong.
Here’s the good news.
To the little someone’s who matter, you‘re doing it right!
Kids don’t have the benefit of checking pinterest and reading the Facebook highlights in order to compare your success as a mother to the rest of the world’s mothers. (Until they get older that is.)
All they have is you!
You, who scoops them out of bed each morning. You, who tucks them into bed each night. You, who meets every need-whether they realize it or not. You, whose smile gives them confidence. You, whose arms comfort, shelter and protect them. You, who loves them more than life itself and has sacrificed everything for them.
I am amazed daily by the amount of love my boys have for me. To them, I’m magical. My kisses heal boo boos. My hugs take away fear. My hands make them brave. My arms make them feel at home. They think I can do anything. They have full confidence in my ability to fix everything, solve any problem and heal any wound. From skinned knees, to fights over toys, to missing items, to dirty clothes, to running out of milk; mom can fix it.
Even if something is obviously not going to work, they say, “But mommy can try!?” Any cut, scratch, ouchy, bug bite, fall, bump, or boo boo, they say, “Mommy can kiss it!” Instantly, the tears dry up and all is right in the world again (most of the time.) If something is broken, they say, “Mommy can fix it.” And they believe that with all that is within them. I hold the answer to every question, the remedy for any ailment, and the ability to meet every need; even if in reality, I don’t.
I remember thinking as a little girl that my mom was magical. She had to be. There’s no way a regular person could do all she did and still have energy to smile. Her love was endless and her abilities were supernatural. She knew things other people didn’t know, healed things other people couldn’t heal, and showed up every day in ways I thought only magic could explain. I always believed she had a direct connection to God and she communed with angels. I still believe that.
“To a child’s ear, ‘Mother’ is magic in any language.” Arlene Benedict
My boys look at me the same way. They know in all their infinite two year old and nine month old wisdom, that no one has ever or will ever love them as much as their mom does. They understand that I am for them. They know that there is nothing I won’t do for them. They can sense that my heart beats stronger because of them and that I want only the best for them. Their ability to grasp the concept of unconditional love comes from me right now. They’re starting to love each other and show affection to others the same way I do them. In those moments, I know I’m doing something right; and to me, that is magic.
To our children, moms are magical. To moms, our children are magical. They unlock places of our hearts nothing else can. New depths of love are found each day as a mother. In their eyes, I see myself.
I do believe moms are mystical. The secret we don’t understand until we become moms ourselves is that our supernatural powers come from two primary places: the love of our children and the love of God.
God has grabbed onto me and drawn me right into his chest through the gift of my boys. Motherhood to me is magical, but more than that, it’s spiritual. It’s been the thing God used to rescue me from myself. To redeem and restore my broken life. To help me understand His infinite grace, and to unveil His previously hidden face.
There is a triangular effect in motherhood. While God holds onto me, I hold onto my sons. While my sons hold onto me, God is holding onto them. My strength comes from heaven which has become more real to me since becoming a mom. I am braver, more confident, more joyful, and more fearless because of my boys. And they are all of those things because of me.
That is magical. That is where heaven meets earth. That is where God moves from being the guy in the sky to the breath in our lungs. That is where unconditional motherly love becomes a holy experience.
There may be mom wars swirling about and other women doing it better. I’ll never be perfect and I have a lot of mistakes ahead of me as a mom. There’s a million ways I fail every day; but to my boys, I’m doing it right. All they see is love.
My boys may think I’m magical, but what they don’t know is that they are really where the magic begins.
I feel the same way about my faith and my daughter. I was a believer but I wasn’t walking with Christ when I got pregnant with z. It was a shallow faith. Then God used my daughter to bring me back to Him stronger than ever. God is so good! Great post 🙂
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That’s beautiful and in so happy to hear that! Thank you for sharing! 😍
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Comparing is an awful pit that we all fall into. Thank God for pulling us out and reminding us that no matter how we think we compare to others, our hearts are what God considers precious in His sight. We look at the outward appearance, but God sees the heart.
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Absolutely Ai, and that is such a refreshing relief!
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It really is truly magical to experience the bond between a parent, their children and a higher power. When you experience that all comparisons can fade away.
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I agree 100%. Nothing short of miraculous!
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I love this! So many of us waste time and energy comparing ourselves when all that really matters is what our littles feel in their hearts for us!! ❤
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Absolutely! I wish we could all see that and let everything else go. They truly put things into perspective in such a beautiful way!
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This is such a sweet (and very true) post… 🙂
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Oh thank you so much!
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Truer words were never spoken. I wrote a similar post to this but I so love how you put everything.
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That means a lot…Thank you! I’ll have to check out your post as well! ☺
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I hate it when I find myself comparing myself to other moms. Thanks for reminding me of what’s really important.
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I hate it too…but it happens. I actually have found lately that other people have compared me to other moms. That bothers me even more than when I do it because I feel like we work hard to release all of that. Its a very negative and destructive thing…or it can be. Sometimes it can inspire us as moms to see things others are doing…but dine in the wrong spirit it is awful. I really try to stay focused in my own abilities and strengths as a mom and know that God specifically chose me to be the mother of my children for a reason, and that is enough for me. ☺
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Another beautiful post friend. God’s love is always wrapped around us tight! Whenever I feel myself going into mommy compare mode, I stop, remind myself I’m awesome and congratulate the mommy who had the great idea. We are all unique and special and thank goodness or how boring it would be!
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Oh absolutely…such a good way to be! Thank you so much friend! 😀
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Our kids need us, our guidance and love. Not some fancy Pinteresting meal. Love this post! We are always enough especially if we are walking with God!
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Amen sister! Beautiful comment…thank you!
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Beautiful–beyond beautiful! This was definitely my favorite post of yours yet. The magic of your words touching me to the core.
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Wow sasha, you have no idea how much That means to me. I’m so glad it resonated with you and was meaningful to you. Thank you for your sweet words.
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I love this! My little boy is magical to me and I love what he is teaching me:)
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Yes, I feel the same way! They teach us so much! Thanks for your comment!
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It can be hard not to compare oneself to others, It helps when your own child reminds you how magical you are to them. After all, that what really matters.
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I couldn’t agree more! Thank you ☺
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I just came across your blog and this post really resonates with me. You put into words what I had been thinking about a lot lately. It is so hard not to compare–but you are right! My boy doesn’t know the difference. He is filled with a love for me that is so innocent and pure. Motherhood is magical!! Thank you for this post! I will be following 🙂
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Oh this means so much to me,Marla! Thank you…so glad you found me and that this post was encouraging and meaningful to you ❤ you’re right….our kids aren’t comparing us to anything or anyone, We are. They just love us!
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