Let’s just call a spade a spade. I take an inappropriate, borderline obscene number of pictures of my kids everyday.
I basically leave my phone in camera mode at all times. I follow them around like a crazed groupy, taking pictures of every move they make. I have no boundaries. Sleeping, eating, playing…you name it, I’m taking pictures of it. Even their bodily functions are not off limits.
Here’s the thing.
I’m not sorry!
A few weeks ago I had to clear out my phone that held close to 2,500 pictures and videos from just a 2 month time span. Now, just about 2 weeks later, I’m already almost back to 1,000.
I don’t know what to tell ya. There is no end in sight. Buy a bigger hard drive and saddle up because the pictures will be taken.
What I have realized is that I often wish I had an assigned paparazzi so that moments I can’t capture because I’m actively involved in them could be recorded. Believe it or not, there are way more of these moments than the thousands of pictures I do get. I resort to a lot of selfies because I refuse to never be in any of the pictures with my boys; and unfortunately, it’s uncomfortable to ask someone to take candid photos of you in a precious moment.
I never want the boys to look at pictures and say, “Where were you mom?” (Rest assured, I’ve done a great job avoiding that sentence ever needing to breach their lips).
I’ve had people comment at times about the incessant amount of pictures I take and share on Facebook. The main one was actually my soon to be ex-husband who used to give me a very hard time about it and called me crazy and all kinds of other awesome things because of my picture taking obsession.
“When God opens a new page in your life, make photocopies of it, read it and share it with other people. Some may hear it when you read it, others may tear it when you share it.” Israelmore
Regardless of being dubbed the crazy picture lady, there will never be a time I will feel the need to apologize for capturing pictures and memories of my babies. There will never be a time I apologize for putting myself in the pictures with them, even if they’re awkward and even if I have to take them myself.
Each day is a milestone of new things. A day I will never get back. A day full of victories, firsts, and even lasts. Changes are happening faster than I can keep up and I don’t ever want to look back and not be able to remember. For every picture I take and have on my phone, there are thousands more in my brain and in my heart. Those are the ones that will truly live on forever, but unfortunately, I won’t.
Someday, in hopefully the very distant future, I won’t be here anymore. When that day comes, I pray my boys will be thankful for all the pictures I took and the memories I captured. Someday, my brain may fail me. I may be old and demented and I want pictures available to remind me of my life. If that day comes, I want to be in a room, swimming in the sea of memories I’ve captured, wrapped in a quilt made out of photos spanning me and my son’s lives. And of course I’d want all my boys and the people I love most surrounding me too…taking pictures if at all possible! 😉
The moments will be held sacred, cherished forever in my heart, but I will also allow my heart to spill out into a camera so that pieces of it can be frozen in time forever.
I will say as a side bar, there is absolutely a time to simply put the phone down and live fully in the moment rather than trying to take pictures of it. There is way more value in living the memories than taking pictures of them. I do this too. Although Facebook and my phone are flooded with pictures, they don’t even begin to touch the limitless number of picture worthy moments that happen each and every day.
But pictures never hurt. ☺
Every one knows the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Since I have thousands of pictures, just imagine how many words that’s worth!
The sad part is, pictures don’t capture my feelings. While I love pictures, I believe it’s the emotions I’m trying to freeze in time. The pictures are not just memories; they’re feelings. They’re experiences, they’re growing pains, they’re my boys’ childhood. They are my life. A life I cherish. A life that has been given meaning and purpose. A life that holds the memories of 3 other little boys; little boys who will soon be little men, and then big men.
There’s a quote in the movie Stepmom that gets me every time. She says, “You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole life’s happiness is wrapped up in you… every single second.” That is why I take pictures. Their whole life’s happiness is wrapped up in me, and mine in them, and I want there to be lasting evidence of that for them long after I’m gone.
Great photos of great moments will always bring me great joy. I will happily call myself a momarazzi. Let the emotions flow and the memories unfold; and may the pictures captivate the feelings of a life well lived.
(Couldn’t do a post about taking too many pictures without also sharing too many pictures with you all) 😉