“There is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. Then, there’s another way: a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity.” Rumi
There are times where I get to the end of the day and realize I haven’t really been breathing. Oh sure, I’ve breathed. But whole days go by sometimes where I never really take a breath.
When my boys were younger, (funny to say that because they’re only 2), I started doing this thing with them when they started getting too wound up and out of control. I’d stop whatever we were doing and I’d say, “Let’s breathe.” We take a deep breath in together and bring our hands together, then let it out and open our hands. It was like a magic trick and I even shocked myself when I discovered this little ditty was actually working.
I’ve stuck to it ever since and it continues to work.
The best thing about it though, is that it ends up flipping itself around and working on me. It forces me to stop and before I can allow myself to get too frustrated, too overwhelmed, too over the craziness, it reminds me to breathe. Something instantly changes both internally and externally when we simply take a breath. It’s so simple that it’s miraculous.
The other day the boys were doing something, I can’t remember what, and it had been a long day. I started feeling myself reaching the end of my rope and it started feeling like the walls were closing in a little bit. It was like one of those moments in a movie when the actor is still but the world is spinning around them because of some traumatic turmoil and sense of being out of control, only this wasn’t so dramatic.
I guess my Ethan could tell the end was nearing and he all of a sudden comes over to me, places his tiny hand on my leg and says, “Mommy, breathe,” and started doing the hand motions and deep breaths. I didn’t know if I should laugh, cry or burst into song. I smiled feeling the weight and heaviness of the day shatter, I looked into my son’s wise 2 year old eyes, and I took a breath. Maybe my first breath of the whole day. We breathed together for a few moments and then Connor joined in. Now it was like the scene in a movie where the actors are still and the world around them is spinning, but this time because time is standing still and there is only us, right now, together, breathing.
My sons have the ability to suck the life out of me sometimes, but in the same moment, they breathe it right back in.
Tonight we had another need for breathing, and it again softened the stiffness of the moment and breathed life back into us so we could trudge the murky waters of a prolonged bedtime. When they start getting a little too far from where we need to be and my requests for obedience are being ignored, I say, “Look at me. (And they do). Put your listening ears on. (And they do). Now let’s breathe.” (And they do).
Tonight I ended up not being able to keep it together and busted out laughing during the process because the cuteness overwhelms me and I can’t help it, but it worked. It made them giggle too and instantly, all was right in the world again.
I’m so thankful for these tiny nuggets of useful parenting skills I’ve accumulated over the last 2 years, and I’m even more thankful for what they teach me.
Sometimes life gets tough. Sometimes the weight of it all gets heavy and makes it hard to breathe. Some days, though I’m a grown up, I still feel like a child that needs a lot of help and guidance. Sometimes, I get too wound up and unfocused and end up too far away from where I’m supposed to be, ignoring the calls for obedience in my life. In those moments I often feel God’s presence and hear Him say, “Look at me. Put your listening ears on. Now, let’s breathe.” We lock eyes, He smiles at me, I take a deep breath in, and then I breathe it all out.
God uses my children to get to me and I am so grateful for His methods. Sometimes, all we need is to stop, listen and breathe.
“Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver
Three Boys and a Mom 
Beautiful Post! What a sweet thing you’ve established with your boys! I need to stop and breath more throughout the day, especially in those challenging moments where I’m at the end of my rope. Thank you for this!
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Thank you so much! It amazes me the wisdom that comes from such small people and how much they change me and save me each day! Glad you liked this post! ❤
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thank you so much, I am glad you could relate and take something away from this. We could all use to breathe a little more ☺
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What a clever idea!! I am going to steal this one from you if you don’t mind! They really do teach us so much and also point our eyes upward, to where they are supposed to be.
BTW: I really like the new look!! 🙂
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Oh yay! Thank you! I think it’s much better! 😃 and steel away! Let me know if it works… it’s not fail proof. Tonight, it didn’t work as well and I had to resort to threatening to go to bed with no bed time story for them to settle down, but luckily, that worked haha. It wasn’t a threat so much as a choice… anyway! Hope it works for your kiddos…it’s pretty awesome when it does. 😀 and super cute to watch!! And of course, a good reminder to breathe and look up for us as well!
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I am so glad to read this! Sometimes as a mom i “forget” to breathe and I just have to remind myself, It will all be ok.. just breathe
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Absolutely!!! Hard to remember some days and even harder to do, but thank God for these tiny reminders all the time! Thanks for reading and I’m so glad it resonated with you! 😍
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I really love your writing. I like the simple tool you’ve put in place for ‘those’ moments. It’ll no doubt continue to stand you in good stead.
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That honestly means so much to me, Thank you for your encouragement and taking the time to comment! ❤
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That’s beautiful! I go to meditation once a week, and just sitting and breathing really helps to settle my mind. I’ve even taught my daughter (who is 5) how to meditate. She seems to like it as well 🙂 Good for you for teaching them great stress-relief habits (and good for them for reminding you)!
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Thank you so much! Its cool when you find little things that stick and continue to work. I like this one a lot and am hoping breathing can continue to be a helpful tool in their life for years to come. Thanks for the encouragement 😊
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What a great lesson! I tell my son to breathe when he is starting to act up or gets upset. I read a book by Goldie Hawn about teaching kids mindfulness and breathing was a big thing! 😉
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Thank you…yeah it’s been amazing how well it works…for all of us! ☺
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Your kids are so cute. They are lucky to have a mom like you teaching them such a valuable tool so young. I really could have used that lesson while I was growing up.
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Oh thank you, that means a lot! Its amazing how much they remind and help me too! Its not always effective, but most of the time it really does calm us all down and bring us back to where we need to be.
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Beautifully written and a wonderful reminder as well, Rachel.
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Thank you so much!!! 😃
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Oops, sorry I spelled your name wrong Rachael. My apologies!
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Oh no worries, thanks for taking the time to notice such a small detail 😊
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I’ve been teaching my son to take a deep breath when he’s angry, and it is working well. We’ve only been doing it a few weeks, but he immediately calms enough for us to talk through whatever is bothering him. 🙂 You’re right that it can change everything with just one breath!
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That’s awesome that you’re doing that and it’s working. It transfers into adulthood and teaches them how to manage their emotions….not suppress them, but manage them appropriately. Good stuff! Thanks for sharing.
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I truly love this 🙂 What a great idea for focus both with the kids and Mama! I as well feel God telling me at times “Be Still.” The world can spin crazy but He will always be our Center 🙂
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Amen! Hard to remember in the tough moments but when we do, what a difference it makes! Thanks for your comment ☺
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Oh, right on Rachael! I kept saying, “yep, yep, yep” as I read this post. I’m going to borrow your breath idea. Isn’t it precious when they use our tricks on us!? Let’s breath!
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Absolutely! Its so cool…and in those moments are when I feel like maybe I’m doing something right! ☺
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I love it when we are having a hard moment and our children remind us of a lesson, such as breathing, that we taught to them. Lovely post!
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Thank you so much Melissa! Its a rewarding experience.
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So true! For me, there are days I look back and try to think if I ever just sat down. But all the little moments, if we take time to embrace them, they are worth it! Thanks for sharing. I found you from the Mommy Bloggers LIKE Swap.
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It’s easy to lose a whole day as a mom and realize we never really stopped or took anything in, but it’s so important, and I love that my sons remind me of this daily!
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Thank you for such a beautiful post! I’ve tried to read a mindful parenting book. Your post is so much more helpful and encouraging. And true ❤
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Oh wow that means so much!!! Thank you very much!
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Today was just one of those “almost at the end of my rope all day” sort of days. I thoroughly appreciate reading this right now. The technique you suggested of opening and closing your hands while inhaling and exhaling is SUCH a good tip. The part that got me though, was “y sons have the ability to suck the life out of me sometimes, but in the same moment, they breathe it right back in.” Such powerful words. I’m going to pin this so I can re-read it when I need it ❤
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Wow that means so much to me, thank you! I’m so glad this meant something to you and was encouraging! Hang in there and keep breathing! ☺
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We’ve used the breathing since my oldest was a little tot to calm him. And, you’re right … I realize how much I need it too. The slow, deep breaths forces me to slow down my pace in life.
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