It’s 1:26 am. I’ve been up since about 6:30 am yesterday and had one of the longest mommy days I’ve had in a while; yet here I am, perched outside my boys’ bedroom listening to the sweetest, tiniest little noises coming from the other side of the door. As I was changing my shirt for bed, after I threw away the animal cracker that somehow found it’s way down my shirt without my knowledge and had taken up residence in there for who knows how long, I heard my nuggets. I pressed my ear against the door and hear, “Stop it brother,” about 5 times. I let out a little laugh and am filled with the desire to run in and squeeze his tiny little body, followed quickly by the thought, “NO!” Then I hear someone say, “I see mommy!??” Oh my gosh… again I want to swing open the door and say, “Yes!!! You see mommy!” If it wouldn’t turn into an all night mommy and me play date, I’d so do it. But as much as I want one more squeeze and to hang out with my nuggets, it can wait til the morning! Today was one of those days that my heart was squeezed and stretched and pounced on, and as much as I love my babies, I was happy to welcome bedtime. Ironically it wasn’t my 2 year olds causing my heart so much turmoil today though, it was the 6 month old who just fell asleep a few minutes ago….right before the animal cracker came bounding out of my shirt cage.
That’s the mommy life. Housing animal crackers in places you didn’t know could be found, being stretched beyond what you thought was your capacity and finding you had just a little more, feeling guilty for the moments you lost your cool, desperately needing sleep but jumping at the chance to listen to their little voices for a few more minutes, debating whether or not to enter their room for one more snuggle, and then coming to your senses and realizing they need sleep as much as you do and you can snuggle all day tomorrow. I’m so grateful I get to make that choice and that I can snuggle them all day tomorrow; but for tonight, I’m over it and I need some sleep.
I just heard more wrestling around followed by something involving, “Yayyy…mama…” so I’m scooting away with a happy heart before they sniff me out and this gets real. That is all! Let the love continue once we have all rested. Goodnight folks!